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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Dilemma of the Day

The Office vs. the Red Sox...

What to watch tonight?

While I'm on the topic of The Office, I can't help mentioning a few of my favorite quotes from this season.

From 'Fun Run':

Michael: So, I need a little treat for the gang. Something to win their affections back.
Ryan: Back? Why is that, Michael?
Michael: Well, I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Ohhhh. Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No. I was being negligent.
...
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?

Michael: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael: Kelly, you're Hindu so you believe in Buddha.
Kelly: That's Buddhists.
Michael: Are you sure?
Kelly: No.

Dwight: As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's unethical!

From 'Launch Party':

I loved the first half of this episode. First of all, the entire scene where everyone is watching for the 'DVD Video' box to go right into the corner of the screen is hilarious. And It was great to finally have Pam and Jim playing pranks on Dwight again!

Dwight: It appears that the website has become alive. This happens to computers and robots sometimes. Am I scared of a stupid computer? Please. The computer should be scared of me. I have been salesman of the month for 13 of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that Corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.

Dwight: Here's a suggestion, computer. I assume you read binary, so why don't you 0111111011011?
DunMiff/sys: While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.

Darryl: Hey. How 'bout stop yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapoor over 500 sheets of paper and get back to your desk, and start selling multiple reams like a man. (This is possibly my overall favorite quote of the season so far. Nathan has spent the past two weeks attempting to alter this quote to fit any situation, any time.)

From 'Money':

Jim: You know, I just realized, this is Pam's and my first night away together. I used to play it over in my head, and it was just a little bit different. Maybe a nice hotel. Or, a romantic dinner. Wine... Um, but wine that wasn't made out of beets. Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. And, uh, I always imagined less manure. I mean, some manure, just... less.

Andy: You need to set me up with her [Angela]. I know she told you that she's looking, and she's totally not responding to my moves.
Pam: What moves?
Andy: I've moonwalked past accounting like ten times.
Pam: I can't believe that's not working.
Andy: Yeah.

Kelly: Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I have ever met. I mean who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?

3 comments:

  1. I think you mean "dilemma". Or did you misspell that in purpose for some reason that I'm not comprehending just now?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geeky question from someone who can spend hours at work trying to find TV transcripts--where did you find these outtakes? Or did you transcribe them?

    ReplyDelete