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Friday, March 26, 2004

I sometimes feel as though the world is crumbling about me. Will everything that I hold to be true fall? Can the Truth fail? Dr. Reynolds spoke of the twilight of the West, but with people like Phillip Johnson, Michael Behe, Nancy Pearcey, J.P. Moreland... I thought it couldn’t happen. Not really. But perhaps it is happening after all.

And what shall I do? He trains my hands for battle, that my arms may bend a bow of bronze… but what am I trained for, really? I’m just a college student studying the violin in Massachusetts. I want to fight… for truth, for life, for marriage, for justice, for goodness, for right. But all I really can do is practice my violin each day, do my homework, tell my family that I love them, study for exams, work hard in rehearsals.

September 11, 2001. I am awakened by a phone call. The twin towers have fallen from a terrorist attack. I feel numb; life seems surreal. I pray, and read Plato and write Pull Questions.

2001. 2002. 2003. Osama. Iraq. Afghanistan. War. War! I have never lived in a time of war. People I know are being sent. My cousin goes. War. There are angry people, too, and protests. After a while, I sometimes forget to pray about it all. I practice my violin.

2002-2003. A beautiful young girl is snatched from her bedroom in the middle of the night. People are frightened, worried, devastated… but still hoping. Her parents won’t give up the search. Months of fear and uncertainty pass. In the meantime, I pray, study, and practice my violin. The searches lessen. A new story replaces this one on the daily news. People are beginning to forget.

March 12, 2004. Nine people, all my age and younger, are dead in a house in Fresno. Some of them are just babies. I cry and call my Mom. I pray, and do homework, and practice.

2004. Gay marriage. Crisis and division in the Church. I don’t know what to do. I do my homework and practice my violin. But I want to do more. What can I do? Something...there has to be something more.

I think I feel a bit discouraged about…everything. The world.


March 12, 2003. The reports come pouring in… I can hardly believe it… I had almost forgotten… but now, Elizabeth Smart has been found and returned to her family! She’s alive! She’ll be okay! My heart swells within me.

December 14, 2003. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him!” Wow.

That swelling of my heart within my chest… that feeling of something grand and wonderful in spite of terror and sorrow in the world… it’s hope.

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