I have returned from a wonderful Thanksgiving break, spent with Jen and her family at their house in Pennsylvania. They're all from Long Island, and their accents are hilarious. They were so kind and friendly to include me in their holiday celebration. I learned a teeny bit of judo from Jen's step-dad, goofed off with Kourtney, her little sister, had some wonderful talks with Jen, and watched movies and slept a lot. Her whole family is wonderful, and it was a nice time to rest and be lazy! I did practice some too, though. (I hope I practiced more scales than Story did so I can win the scale competition!) Jen's mom and stepdad liked my playing and made me promise to send them tickets to my eventual concert in Lincoln center.
And now I'm back at Gordon for the end-of-semester sprint-to-the-finish-line... you know, that time that comes before The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. A research paper, music history final exam, New Testament final exam, theory exam, new orchestra music to learn, lessons, and of course, juries. But my nerves are made of steel, my heart is stout, and my mind is solid... I will prevail.
I bought Christmas lights at WalMart over break, and I just put them up in my room after arriving back from PA. It looks lovely and sparkly and cheerful and bright! And I'm listening to Christmas music on the radio. I know, I know... with all that I have to do I should be studying or practicing... but I refuse to let reality sink in quite yet.
When I was in Boston with my Dad, we walked through some old cemeteries. We saw graves of people like Paul Revere and John Hancock. We also saw so many graves of babies. I can't imagine having your baby die, and still having to get up each morning and keep living. I also remember in particular one grave that belonged to a woman whose first name I've forgotten. What I remember about that grave was the inscription. It read something like this: "here lies the mortal part of the virtuous and amiable wife of Moses Black." And I thought to myself, that's how I'd like to be remembered. Virtuous and amiable.
I wonder what I'd like my grave to say? Perhaps that I was virtuous and amiable. Perhaps that I loved and served the Lord. Or maybe I'd just like it to say, "Behold, I tell you a mystery..."
Well, I'm alive now, and life is full of possibilities and things to learn and people to love!
Concert tonight... the Ying Quartet!
Sunday, November 30, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Fact
Improve your mind today by learning this interesting fact:
A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
Monday, November 24, 2003
List
By popular demand I will write something in my blog today. Sorry it's been a while... I've been busy.
Things of note from this past week:
1) I had a good lesson on Wednesday... but sometimes this learning process is overwhelming.
2) My Dad spent the weekend here visiting me! He arrived Friday evening and left last night. It was so good to see him!
3) I played the first mvt. of the Barber concerto in a general student recital here Friday evening. I like the professor who is my accompanist. I fumbled an entrance slightly, and he was terrific in covering for me. He did a great job making the piano reduction sound as big and orchestral as possible. I guess overall the performance went okay. I was so nervous about it, probably because I really haven't performed much - not anything to speak of - since high school. I know, it's weird... but I've managed to avoid most "opportunities" to perform in the past few years. I think some things went well, and other things could have been better. However, everyone seemed to enjoy it. Today one of my professors here, who is kind of a cynical, sarcastic, closed-off, hard-to-please, and overall mean person stopped me in the hall and told me what a great job I'd done in the recital. So, wow, high praise indeed. And best of all, my Dad liked hearing me play.
4) Our orchestra concert yesterday was really fun. I loved all the repertoire we did. Smetana is such fun, Mozart is charming, Enesco is rhapsodic, and Brahms... well, what can one say about Brahms?! After the concert we took some pictures, then I went out to dinner with my Dad, and Jen came along. Oh, I just love Jen! I love spending time with her, and tomorrow I leave to go spend Thanksgiving break with her and her family!
5) I had a New Testament exam this morning... blah. I actually studied for this one a little bit, but I have a feeling I may have done worse than I did on the previous exams, where I never did anything to prepare except go to class. We'll see.
6) I must practice lots over Thanksgiving break. I must practice lots of scales, in particular, so I can beat Story in the scale competition! Have I mentioned Story yet in my blog? Perhaps I haven't. Well, she's just one of the most wonderful people I know. And she's my stand partner in orchestra when the mentors aren't there. We have dinner together after scale class each week, and I always look forward to it. Sometimes we practice scales together, too. Last Thursday we got tired after about half an hour, and we tried practicing lying down. It's kind of tricky that way.
7) The season of Advent is about to begin! I love the anticipation of Christmas. I can hardly wait until I can go home for Christmas... I'll sit at the piano and play Christmas hymns and just relax, and spend time with my family, and sleep in for at least a few mornings. Oh, it will be so nice. Christmas!!
8) I have a quiz tomorrow in music history, plus outlines and listening entries due. Then I have a test to finish in theory class, and a rough draft of a paper on Purcell's Dido and Aeneas due. I had better get to work.
Au revoir, friends. I hope this satisfies you for now.
Things of note from this past week:
1) I had a good lesson on Wednesday... but sometimes this learning process is overwhelming.
2) My Dad spent the weekend here visiting me! He arrived Friday evening and left last night. It was so good to see him!
3) I played the first mvt. of the Barber concerto in a general student recital here Friday evening. I like the professor who is my accompanist. I fumbled an entrance slightly, and he was terrific in covering for me. He did a great job making the piano reduction sound as big and orchestral as possible. I guess overall the performance went okay. I was so nervous about it, probably because I really haven't performed much - not anything to speak of - since high school. I know, it's weird... but I've managed to avoid most "opportunities" to perform in the past few years. I think some things went well, and other things could have been better. However, everyone seemed to enjoy it. Today one of my professors here, who is kind of a cynical, sarcastic, closed-off, hard-to-please, and overall mean person stopped me in the hall and told me what a great job I'd done in the recital. So, wow, high praise indeed. And best of all, my Dad liked hearing me play.
4) Our orchestra concert yesterday was really fun. I loved all the repertoire we did. Smetana is such fun, Mozart is charming, Enesco is rhapsodic, and Brahms... well, what can one say about Brahms?! After the concert we took some pictures, then I went out to dinner with my Dad, and Jen came along. Oh, I just love Jen! I love spending time with her, and tomorrow I leave to go spend Thanksgiving break with her and her family!
5) I had a New Testament exam this morning... blah. I actually studied for this one a little bit, but I have a feeling I may have done worse than I did on the previous exams, where I never did anything to prepare except go to class. We'll see.
6) I must practice lots over Thanksgiving break. I must practice lots of scales, in particular, so I can beat Story in the scale competition! Have I mentioned Story yet in my blog? Perhaps I haven't. Well, she's just one of the most wonderful people I know. And she's my stand partner in orchestra when the mentors aren't there. We have dinner together after scale class each week, and I always look forward to it. Sometimes we practice scales together, too. Last Thursday we got tired after about half an hour, and we tried practicing lying down. It's kind of tricky that way.
7) The season of Advent is about to begin! I love the anticipation of Christmas. I can hardly wait until I can go home for Christmas... I'll sit at the piano and play Christmas hymns and just relax, and spend time with my family, and sleep in for at least a few mornings. Oh, it will be so nice. Christmas!!
8) I have a quiz tomorrow in music history, plus outlines and listening entries due. Then I have a test to finish in theory class, and a rough draft of a paper on Purcell's Dido and Aeneas due. I had better get to work.
Au revoir, friends. I hope this satisfies you for now.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Lesson Synopsis etc.
I had a good lesson on Wednesday. I think it was my first lesson with my teacher where I've come very close to crying. But still, it was really good. Not in the sense that I was as prepared as I should have been, and not in the sense that I played well or impressed him, but in the sense that I learned a lot. And I've been working harder since then, too.
Things I learned from my brilliant teacher (taken from brief and probably slightly incomprehensible notes jotted down immediately after my lesson):
1) attention span and concentration, dilligence and consistency in practice.
2) security - our culture and generation is obsessed with it, in every sense of the word. But don't be afraid to decide what you want in life and then work as hard as you can to attain it. "Keeping your options open" isn't always a virtue, even though it may feel more secure or safe, not having to commit to something and thus fear that you might not be able to attain it. Trust God for eternal security (Providence, not Prudential ;)), but then remember the parable of the talents and go be a good steward by practicing your butt off!
3) Rode - practice scales in 3rds to help in learning this etude. Remember: 0 eye --> 1 ear --> 2 brain --> 3 fingers. My teacher said that the last 45 seconds spent on this etude in the lesson proved to him once again that I can do it - I looked at the double stops and heard them in my ear, sang them accurately and "beautifully", then played them - the first time okay, the second time better, and the third time exactly right. Practice like that - expect that of yourself!
4) Telemann - bow speed; dance; "paaauum" sound; 2 voices, hear counterpoint; 1st note must lead to 2nd, vibrate; framing; rhythm; tempo; energy; dynamics; don't be sticky.
5) 2 things in practicing - better ears and a more alert mind, or just repetition. Both have their place in practicing, and a lack of the latter was evident in my lesson - showed that I hadn't practiced enough to prepare during the week.
6) About me - my teacher said once again that my mind is very sharp and good and I have no handicaps and nothing holding me back, and that I also have a great musical sensitivty being unearthed and developed. (This is when I felt like crying, because even though he can be mean, really my teacher is so good to me and I owe it to him to practice more than I had in the past week! WHY do I let my moods affect my practicing? It shouldn't matter at all! Why can't I just block people and emotions out of my practicing and do what I need to do each day?)
After my lesson my teacher came and jointly coached the chamber music sessions for the day with his wife. I loved every minute of it and learned so much from both of them - as I always do.
The Gilbert and Sullivan gig I played for this past week was kind of fun. I enjoyed seeing and hearing the students perform. The best part was after the final performance, when the students acknowledged all the people who had made it possible. The love these kids had for their music teachers was so evident, and it just amazes me, the immense way in which one person's life can influence so many others... wow.
Well, the time has come. I have to play a solo in a recital here on Friday. I mean, really have to. My quartet was signed up to play, thus conveniently getting my required general recital performance out of the way in a non-stressful way, but Nicky's still mostly unable to play, and Mike doesn't really want to do the quartet anyway, and so I am going to be playing a solo.
Last night I was practicing until late in the recital hall, and Jon came in to say hi. He said he'd never heard me play before, and asked me to play for him. Eventually I consented (well, after he sang "Lord God of Abraham" for me) and I played a movement of the concerto I'm studying. I'm glad I did. I've never had the experience of playing for anyone before who loved it so much, except maybe my parents. He really just sat there loving to hear me play, sometimes closing his eyes, and each time I paused telling me to keep playing. It made me happy, seeing him enjoying it like that. He told me I should perform it soon and that it was definitely ready. I told him what terrible performance-phobia I have and that I knew I'd screw it all up. So then, he decided to record me playing, so I could hear it "from the outside." The Green Room was open, and he insisted that we do it right then. I played the first movement through again, and he put it onto a blank CD, and then afterwards we listened to it together. He was so encouraging and kept pointing out all the parts that he loved and all the things he liked about the way I was playing the piece. Of course, mostly I hate the way it sounds, but there are parts that I like, and that is encouraging. And the parts that I don't like are very helpful too, because now I know more clearly what to be working on. So, Jon is a cool person.
Tonight Sarah H. and I listened to the first 2 CDs of Les Miserables. I love Les Miserables... it's all grace and hope and redemption and love and life... it's so wonderful.
Tomorrow is the Day of Prayer... which means... NO CLASSES!! Hurrah! But of course, tons of work to do: a theory paper to write and a theory exam to prepare for, loads of practicing to do, a New Testament exam to study for, and piles of music history homework to do, as usual.
On Friday my DADDY is coming to visit me!!! (Well, he's coming out to the area for a business trip, but then coming here to see me! And he'll be here for the recital Friday night and we'll spend Saturday together and he'll come to our orchestra concert on Sunday.) Oh, happiness. I love my Dad!
My roommate from last year sent me cookies last week, which is just one small example of the sweet and thoughtful and wonderful sorts of things that she is always doing for people! I miss her. It's hard to go from being roommates with her to this - not knowing much about her life and not having her know much about mine. I miss late-night talks and inside jokes and pretzels and ice cream at the Stupe. I miss just having a cozy room with someone wonderful and fun and cute and funny to share it with, someone to come back to at the end of a day who would always listen to my ramblings and tell me her own, too. I remember how she used to watch taped episodes of Gilmore Girls every night while she did her nightly situps and pushups. And I always just loved her and thought she was so funny, so cute!
But I shouldn't end this evening's blog on an unhappy note, so I'll add that having a room to myself is rather nice too, in it's own way. And I am not unhappy. In fact, I am quite happy.
And with that, I am going to bed.
Things I learned from my brilliant teacher (taken from brief and probably slightly incomprehensible notes jotted down immediately after my lesson):
1) attention span and concentration, dilligence and consistency in practice.
2) security - our culture and generation is obsessed with it, in every sense of the word. But don't be afraid to decide what you want in life and then work as hard as you can to attain it. "Keeping your options open" isn't always a virtue, even though it may feel more secure or safe, not having to commit to something and thus fear that you might not be able to attain it. Trust God for eternal security (Providence, not Prudential ;)), but then remember the parable of the talents and go be a good steward by practicing your butt off!
3) Rode - practice scales in 3rds to help in learning this etude. Remember: 0 eye --> 1 ear --> 2 brain --> 3 fingers. My teacher said that the last 45 seconds spent on this etude in the lesson proved to him once again that I can do it - I looked at the double stops and heard them in my ear, sang them accurately and "beautifully", then played them - the first time okay, the second time better, and the third time exactly right. Practice like that - expect that of yourself!
4) Telemann - bow speed; dance; "paaauum" sound; 2 voices, hear counterpoint; 1st note must lead to 2nd, vibrate; framing; rhythm; tempo; energy; dynamics; don't be sticky.
5) 2 things in practicing - better ears and a more alert mind, or just repetition. Both have their place in practicing, and a lack of the latter was evident in my lesson - showed that I hadn't practiced enough to prepare during the week.
6) About me - my teacher said once again that my mind is very sharp and good and I have no handicaps and nothing holding me back, and that I also have a great musical sensitivty being unearthed and developed. (This is when I felt like crying, because even though he can be mean, really my teacher is so good to me and I owe it to him to practice more than I had in the past week! WHY do I let my moods affect my practicing? It shouldn't matter at all! Why can't I just block people and emotions out of my practicing and do what I need to do each day?)
After my lesson my teacher came and jointly coached the chamber music sessions for the day with his wife. I loved every minute of it and learned so much from both of them - as I always do.
The Gilbert and Sullivan gig I played for this past week was kind of fun. I enjoyed seeing and hearing the students perform. The best part was after the final performance, when the students acknowledged all the people who had made it possible. The love these kids had for their music teachers was so evident, and it just amazes me, the immense way in which one person's life can influence so many others... wow.
Well, the time has come. I have to play a solo in a recital here on Friday. I mean, really have to. My quartet was signed up to play, thus conveniently getting my required general recital performance out of the way in a non-stressful way, but Nicky's still mostly unable to play, and Mike doesn't really want to do the quartet anyway, and so I am going to be playing a solo.
Last night I was practicing until late in the recital hall, and Jon came in to say hi. He said he'd never heard me play before, and asked me to play for him. Eventually I consented (well, after he sang "Lord God of Abraham" for me) and I played a movement of the concerto I'm studying. I'm glad I did. I've never had the experience of playing for anyone before who loved it so much, except maybe my parents. He really just sat there loving to hear me play, sometimes closing his eyes, and each time I paused telling me to keep playing. It made me happy, seeing him enjoying it like that. He told me I should perform it soon and that it was definitely ready. I told him what terrible performance-phobia I have and that I knew I'd screw it all up. So then, he decided to record me playing, so I could hear it "from the outside." The Green Room was open, and he insisted that we do it right then. I played the first movement through again, and he put it onto a blank CD, and then afterwards we listened to it together. He was so encouraging and kept pointing out all the parts that he loved and all the things he liked about the way I was playing the piece. Of course, mostly I hate the way it sounds, but there are parts that I like, and that is encouraging. And the parts that I don't like are very helpful too, because now I know more clearly what to be working on. So, Jon is a cool person.
Tonight Sarah H. and I listened to the first 2 CDs of Les Miserables. I love Les Miserables... it's all grace and hope and redemption and love and life... it's so wonderful.
Tomorrow is the Day of Prayer... which means... NO CLASSES!! Hurrah! But of course, tons of work to do: a theory paper to write and a theory exam to prepare for, loads of practicing to do, a New Testament exam to study for, and piles of music history homework to do, as usual.
On Friday my DADDY is coming to visit me!!! (Well, he's coming out to the area for a business trip, but then coming here to see me! And he'll be here for the recital Friday night and we'll spend Saturday together and he'll come to our orchestra concert on Sunday.) Oh, happiness. I love my Dad!
My roommate from last year sent me cookies last week, which is just one small example of the sweet and thoughtful and wonderful sorts of things that she is always doing for people! I miss her. It's hard to go from being roommates with her to this - not knowing much about her life and not having her know much about mine. I miss late-night talks and inside jokes and pretzels and ice cream at the Stupe. I miss just having a cozy room with someone wonderful and fun and cute and funny to share it with, someone to come back to at the end of a day who would always listen to my ramblings and tell me her own, too. I remember how she used to watch taped episodes of Gilmore Girls every night while she did her nightly situps and pushups. And I always just loved her and thought she was so funny, so cute!
But I shouldn't end this evening's blog on an unhappy note, so I'll add that having a room to myself is rather nice too, in it's own way. And I am not unhappy. In fact, I am quite happy.
And with that, I am going to bed.
Friday, November 14, 2003
Coupling
Yesterday afternoon at approximately three in the afternoon my dear friend Libby told me that she now has a boyfriend.
And happiness abounds in the Greater Biola Area.
Congratulations, Libby and Jon!
And happiness abounds in the Greater Biola Area.
Congratulations, Libby and Jon!
Monday, November 10, 2003
Sunday, November 02, 2003
The Journey of Life
I woke up today, and I knew what I would do and how my day would go, and yes, sure enough, it went exactly as I had thought it would. And tonight I find myself missing the days when each day was an adventure; when I felt with much greater clarity than I do now that my life is part of a great Story by the greatest Author. There was a time when I felt a part of something much larger and much greater and more beautiful than myself, and when I shared that sense of wonder with close friends. And it's not that my life is unhappy now, but sometimes it does seem more... mundane. I know that it isn't mundane... I've been given exciting and wonderful opportunities in my life! Perhaps I just long for people with whom to share each day, the sort of people who see life for its possibilities and who love Beauty and Truth. I know my life isn't mundane, but I no longer really think that I'll do anything to change the world. Was there a time when I thought so? I can't really remember. I suppose that, in general, freshman year is the time for epiphanies and enthusiasm and late nights and hours of talking and hours of laughing, and maybe where I was had less to do with things than who I was then. Then again, maybe it did make a difference. And if so, was it for the better or for the worse?
Well, they say that it's inevitable; eventually that great thing called "real life" sets in. I haven't gotten there yet, of course, but it's seeming closer. What will I do after I graduate? I suppose I'd like to have a job in an orchestra, maybe. And I'd definitely like to have a cozy music studio tucked in a cozy apartment somewhere, and I'll have children of all ages come for their weekly violin lessons. I'll have posters of Madame Butterfly or La Boheme or the Chicago Symphony on the walls, and a piano in the room, and maybe a grey cat curled up on a chair in the corner, and I'll have shelves and shelves of books. My first student of the afternoon will arrive, and I'll greet her and we'll take a few minutes to talk about life, and then she'll play and I'll accompany her on the piano sometimes, and we'll work together and I'll try to teach her and show her and help her discover not only how to play the violin, but also why. Why it's worth it to learn something so difficult; to use fingers and hands and bodies to draw the music out of the violin. And here and there I'll have chances to throw in tidbits of music history or literature or other things I love, and I'll get my teaching-and-talking fix for the day, and then we'll be finished and she'll pack up her violin and I'll tell her what she's done well and what to work on that week and I'll help her into her coat and see her to the door and wave goodbye and smile, and then walk back into my apartment and sit with my cat, or read a book, or practice, or listen to music.
I think that can change the world. Like the teacher in "Pay it Forward" who says he changes the world by getting up each morning, taking a shower, eating a healthy breakfast, and coming to school on time to teach his class of seventh-graders - and passing the bar to them to each go on and continue to change the world in their own ways. In the end, perhaps it won't always be the high-profile figures who change the world as much as the Mommies and Daddies and teachers and grandparents and everyday people do. Tolkien shows us this with characters like Frodo and, maybe even more so, Sam. Sometimes I think Sam is really the one the story is about. The simple gardener who becomes swept up as a participant in the legend. "Crazy about stories of the old days he is, and he listens to all Mr. Bilbo's tales...Elves and Dragons! I says to him, Cabbages and potatoes are better for me and you." And as soon as we read this, we have to like Sam, because we understand how it is... we're just like him or we wouldn't be reading the books. We're dreaming of faeries and elves, wizards and dragons, too. And this simple and loyal gardener won't leave Frodo's side through all the journeys and battles and hardships, and the beauties and the triumphs too. Sam is more than he sees in himself. Frodo, too. And Merry and Pippin. Hobbits truly are amazing creatures. "That's the way of a real tale... The people in it don't know..." "Why, to think of it, we're in the same tale still! It's still going on. Don't the great tales never end?" "No, they never end as tales... but the people in them come, and go when their part's ended." Tolkien ends his tale not with the destruction of the Ring, and not even with Frodo, but with Sam. "Well, I'm back." Three little words that make me cry each time I read them. Because I hate for the tale to be ended, but also because if it must be over, there's no better finish.
Few people will ever get to be Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the King. Few will be Legolas. Perhaps none of us, and least of all me, will ever have the chance to be Frodo. But Sam, the simplest of hobbits, has the heart of a servant and the greatest of souls. A simple gardener, but with the strength of character to walk beside Frodo when it is suddenly required of him. And so to be told, "I'm glad you're with me, Sam."
All these journeys are part of a larger story... I wish I could see how mine was connected to the big picture. I know that's what makes it exciting, though... we don't know what comes next! But we DO know the defining moment, the turning point in all of history... is Jesus Christ. And I suppose that's enough to know.
Life really isn't mundane. I shouldn't be feeling that way.
I wrote seven variations on a theme today for a theory assignment. That wasn't mundane. It was fun! (We only have to write four, but I was enjoying it so much that I wrote seven; now I can pick my four favorites to turn in on Tuesday.)
I practiced today. Scales can seem mundane sometimes, but really, they're fun, and a great way to accomplish a maximum of beneficial results in a minimum of time.
Really, my life has been pretty exciting and wonderful, and overall, growing up is just... wow. Each year, each month, each day, I learn so much. About God, myself, others, life, everything. As life goes on, some things change and other things stay the same and oh, life is just full of exciting experiences. Some days, like today, might go according to my plans, but other days a single seemingly insignificant event like a phone call or event or circumstance can change everything. If I hadn't gone to Wheaton, if I hadn't played in that masterclass on a Saturday morning (and it was a near thing; I very nearly decided not to do it because I didn't feel prepared), I would never have met the person who is now my violin teacher; if I hadn't taken him up on his offer to go to music camp and study with him, if I hadn't then taken him up on his offer to come here and continue studying with him... what would I be doing right now? I wonder. But life is good.
I'm in the story, so I can't read ahead, but I already know the final ending, and the High King has granted that I shall serve as a warrior for Him in the meantime, and has placed a sword in my hands... just what that sword is and how I shall use it, that's what is still unfolding. And whatever that is, it may go on to affect future generations in ways, small or large, that I may never know or see. And in the end, after all of this, we shall all meet again! "Next year in Jerusalem," in a larger sort of sense even than that. "We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get in."
What will my tomorrow hold?
Well, they say that it's inevitable; eventually that great thing called "real life" sets in. I haven't gotten there yet, of course, but it's seeming closer. What will I do after I graduate? I suppose I'd like to have a job in an orchestra, maybe. And I'd definitely like to have a cozy music studio tucked in a cozy apartment somewhere, and I'll have children of all ages come for their weekly violin lessons. I'll have posters of Madame Butterfly or La Boheme or the Chicago Symphony on the walls, and a piano in the room, and maybe a grey cat curled up on a chair in the corner, and I'll have shelves and shelves of books. My first student of the afternoon will arrive, and I'll greet her and we'll take a few minutes to talk about life, and then she'll play and I'll accompany her on the piano sometimes, and we'll work together and I'll try to teach her and show her and help her discover not only how to play the violin, but also why. Why it's worth it to learn something so difficult; to use fingers and hands and bodies to draw the music out of the violin. And here and there I'll have chances to throw in tidbits of music history or literature or other things I love, and I'll get my teaching-and-talking fix for the day, and then we'll be finished and she'll pack up her violin and I'll tell her what she's done well and what to work on that week and I'll help her into her coat and see her to the door and wave goodbye and smile, and then walk back into my apartment and sit with my cat, or read a book, or practice, or listen to music.
I think that can change the world. Like the teacher in "Pay it Forward" who says he changes the world by getting up each morning, taking a shower, eating a healthy breakfast, and coming to school on time to teach his class of seventh-graders - and passing the bar to them to each go on and continue to change the world in their own ways. In the end, perhaps it won't always be the high-profile figures who change the world as much as the Mommies and Daddies and teachers and grandparents and everyday people do. Tolkien shows us this with characters like Frodo and, maybe even more so, Sam. Sometimes I think Sam is really the one the story is about. The simple gardener who becomes swept up as a participant in the legend. "Crazy about stories of the old days he is, and he listens to all Mr. Bilbo's tales...Elves and Dragons! I says to him, Cabbages and potatoes are better for me and you." And as soon as we read this, we have to like Sam, because we understand how it is... we're just like him or we wouldn't be reading the books. We're dreaming of faeries and elves, wizards and dragons, too. And this simple and loyal gardener won't leave Frodo's side through all the journeys and battles and hardships, and the beauties and the triumphs too. Sam is more than he sees in himself. Frodo, too. And Merry and Pippin. Hobbits truly are amazing creatures. "That's the way of a real tale... The people in it don't know..." "Why, to think of it, we're in the same tale still! It's still going on. Don't the great tales never end?" "No, they never end as tales... but the people in them come, and go when their part's ended." Tolkien ends his tale not with the destruction of the Ring, and not even with Frodo, but with Sam. "Well, I'm back." Three little words that make me cry each time I read them. Because I hate for the tale to be ended, but also because if it must be over, there's no better finish.
Few people will ever get to be Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the King. Few will be Legolas. Perhaps none of us, and least of all me, will ever have the chance to be Frodo. But Sam, the simplest of hobbits, has the heart of a servant and the greatest of souls. A simple gardener, but with the strength of character to walk beside Frodo when it is suddenly required of him. And so to be told, "I'm glad you're with me, Sam."
All these journeys are part of a larger story... I wish I could see how mine was connected to the big picture. I know that's what makes it exciting, though... we don't know what comes next! But we DO know the defining moment, the turning point in all of history... is Jesus Christ. And I suppose that's enough to know.
Life really isn't mundane. I shouldn't be feeling that way.
I wrote seven variations on a theme today for a theory assignment. That wasn't mundane. It was fun! (We only have to write four, but I was enjoying it so much that I wrote seven; now I can pick my four favorites to turn in on Tuesday.)
I practiced today. Scales can seem mundane sometimes, but really, they're fun, and a great way to accomplish a maximum of beneficial results in a minimum of time.
Really, my life has been pretty exciting and wonderful, and overall, growing up is just... wow. Each year, each month, each day, I learn so much. About God, myself, others, life, everything. As life goes on, some things change and other things stay the same and oh, life is just full of exciting experiences. Some days, like today, might go according to my plans, but other days a single seemingly insignificant event like a phone call or event or circumstance can change everything. If I hadn't gone to Wheaton, if I hadn't played in that masterclass on a Saturday morning (and it was a near thing; I very nearly decided not to do it because I didn't feel prepared), I would never have met the person who is now my violin teacher; if I hadn't taken him up on his offer to go to music camp and study with him, if I hadn't then taken him up on his offer to come here and continue studying with him... what would I be doing right now? I wonder. But life is good.
I'm in the story, so I can't read ahead, but I already know the final ending, and the High King has granted that I shall serve as a warrior for Him in the meantime, and has placed a sword in my hands... just what that sword is and how I shall use it, that's what is still unfolding. And whatever that is, it may go on to affect future generations in ways, small or large, that I may never know or see. And in the end, after all of this, we shall all meet again! "Next year in Jerusalem," in a larger sort of sense even than that. "We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get in."
What will my tomorrow hold?
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